The Playbook for Kids about Sex by Joani Blank

For now, it’s more about communicating what’s most important to you. It’s also a good idea to talk about these values with any co-parents or caretakers, so you’re all on the same page.įor example, you might want to think about what you’re going to say about why people have sex - is it something people do when they’re in love? That grownups sometimes choose to do with each other? To feel good? To feel close to each other? To have a baby? All of these? Some but not others? At this age, you don’t have to go into detail about all of the complicated reasons people have sex.

Your values influence how you talk about it, so think ahead of time about what messages you want to send. Think ahead of time about your values. Conversations about sex and masturbation not only give you an opportunity to share accurate information with your kid, they’re also an opportunity to talk about your values. So do your best to address sex and masturbation in a way that’s positive (or neutral), matter-of-fact, and encourages them to come to you with questions in the future. Remember, young kids are pretty much a blank slate - they don’t know that adults see certain body parts and activities as sexual, so they won’t understand why some people are uncomfortable talking about it. It’s common to feel weird talking about sexuality with your kids, but try to manage your reactions in the moment so you don’t transfer shame or anxiety onto them. Your words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and willingness (or unwillingness) to answer questions and encourage your child’s natural curiosity can impact how they feel about themselves and whether they see you as a safe source of information when they’re older. HOW you talk is one of the first lessons your kid gets about sexuality. The way you talk about sexuality sends messages that last a lifetime. These conversations aren’t just about sharing information - you’re teaching values and attitudes. Being open to these questions without judgment at this age shows them that you’re a source of support. Young kids are curious, and have lots of questions.

The Playbook for Kids about Sex by Joani Blank